Have you ever worked with a realtor, who just doesn’t “get” you?
If you don’t know what I mean, picture dating someone who doesn’t fit into the kind of life you envision for yourself. Perhaps you’re a homebody who likes to cook and snuggle on the couch. But the guy you’re dating isn’t the nesting type and gets restless at home. Or perhaps you consider yourself an urban sophisticate in love with sidewalk cafes, independent boutiques and neighborhood ethnic restaurants. Well, the woman you’re dating likes suburbia, big box stores and Applebee’s.
In my case, I’m an urban soul, content to walk everywhere. I gave up owning a car a few years back in favor of Zipcar. But my realtor kept pushing me to condos that came with parking spaces, even though they were often $40-$50,000 more than condos without parking. Why? Resale value, he said. Even if I don’t own a car and intend to stay in my condo for years if not decades, he thought I should find a nice condo with parking. Kind of like mom who wants you to find a nice guy with a stable job, even though the unstable artist makes you feel more alive.
Sometimes, mismatched realtors don’t understand your lifestyle because they have a predictable life pattern stuck in their head: Buy a starter home. Move to a larger home. Start a family. Raise a family in a home with good school districts, etc. Or maybe they have lived this kind of life, and so it’s hard to relate to anyone who hasn’t.
So what’s the best way to fix the realtor-buyer disconnect?
For realtors, my advice is to focus less on resale and more on what your clients want, no matter how insane it may seem. If you can’t fathom why a client would want a huge McMansion stuck in the middle of nowhere, perhaps it’s better to be honest and point your clients to some realtor who can.
For buyers, my advice is to go with a realtor who reflects your demographic. Someone who’s about your age with a lifestyle similar to your own will inherently understand why you want to live on a ground floor when most people want an upper floor, or why you want an older building with character rather than a modern complex. If you’re an artist, find a realtor who specializes in finding homes for artists. If you’re an urban pioneer, find a realtor who is an urban pioneer himself. You won’t have to convince your realtor that your lifestyle needs trump resale value. And just like your best chance of meeting a nice companion often lie with friends who have similar interests and lifestyles, so does your best chance of finding the right realtor. Get recommendations from like-minded friends.
Finding the right realtor isn’t easy, but you shouldn’t have to live through months of frustration and disappointment hoping that one day, your realtor will finally understand you.





I was meditating over a small part of a very talked-about blog in the 

Recent Comments